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UB Learns
Home | Schedule and Standings | Statistics | #42 Pete Ruocco | #45 Andy Pappano | #21 Ken Heidle | #13 John Pastore | #00 Tim Moriarty | Josh Russell | #7 Ben Clarin | #1 Andrew Kaplan | Old Articles

Old Articles


UB Learns To Begin Season On Valentine's Day

This past weekend the schedule was announced, and it appears that UB Learns will be taking on the Blazers in a Valentine's Day match at 9:30 in the Alumni Arena Triple Gym.

"We're pumped to get out there and show what we've got. Our guys have been itching to get on the court for weeks," said team captain Pete Ruocco.

More updates to follow after the first game.

2/14 - UB Learns Demolished By Blazers 55-20

The season did not start as hoped for UB Learns tonight, as they fell to the Blazers 55-20. "We were completely overmatched in this one. There's only so much you can do when you're being outgunned athletically," a dejected Pete Ruocco said in the locker room after the game.

The game was never even close, as the Blazers rattled off 17 straight points, leading 17-0 just eight minutes into the game. A deep 3-pointer from Pappano (3 of his 6 points on the night) got UB Learns its first points of the season, but that was the closest it would get. Even the tip off was a mismatch, as the 5'10" Pappano was forced to go up against a taller player wearing a Lamar Odom jersey. Pappano commented in a post-game press conference, "Well i knew i was outmatched, seeing as he was much taller and was black, and needless to say, he won it with ease."

Defense was a problem the entire game for UB Learns. After starting in man, they switched to zone 12 minutes in, went to a box-and-one for a few minutes in the second half, and then finished with a 2-3 zone. "Our defense was atrocious. No one played well out there. We didn't shift to support one another, we played weak one-on-one defense, and we were awful inside. They just outplayed us," said Ruocco, who led the team with 7 points on 3-for-4 shooting. John Pastore led the squad with 9 rebounds.

Nevertheless, fan support was outstanding in this game, as UB Learns had 1 fan present. "I think that it was really cool that Rich came down to the game in support of UB Learns tonight, it just proves what kind of commitment our fanatics have for the team. Next time hopefully we can show him what a real outing looks like," commented Andrew Kaplan, who shot 50% from the field tonight.

In all, it was a depressing game for the UB Learns team, and they hope to rebound next week as they face the Chapel Hill Heroes.

2/16 - BREAKING NEWS's Sal Paolantonio is reporting that UB Learns captain and starting PG Pete Ruocco may have suffered a season ending injury in last night's intramural dodgeball game. According to sources at the game, Ruocco appeared to throw his arm out, and nursed his shoulder while sitting out each of the 7 games. A source close to Ruocco has told us that he will be going to an orthopedic doctor this afternoon to have his shoulder examined.

Neither Ruocco nor his agent could not be reached for comment.

2/16 - Ruocco Day-to-Day With Shoulder Sprain/Strain

As reported earlier, Pete Ruocco indeed get injured in last night's dodgeball game. However, the injury is not as bad as initially feared.

He received the good news when he has his x-ray results revealed. "What he has is a shoulder sprain and a possible strain. His x-rays revealed that his shoulder was properly in the socket, which was excellent news," said attending nurse practitioner John Hanavan. Upon further testing, it was determined that his strength and mobility were both superb.

Then came the big news. "He looked pretty excited when I told him his rotator cuff was completely intact," Hanavan later commented. "The popping sound he heard was his shoulder popping out of his socket and then re-inserting itself. It went back in normally, but there's still a possibility that he tore some surrounding cartilage. There's an outside chance he will require surgery, we'll know after about 2 weeks of physical therapy."

"The doctor says I can play basketball again as soon as I can go through the shooting motions without discomfort. I hope to return this Tuesday," said a happy Ruocco earlier tonight.

Unfortunately, Ruocco's dodgeball season looks over. "I am not supposed to throw balls like that for quite some time, until my physical therapy allows me to. So I'm not allowed to play dodgeball. But I'll be back for UB Learns. You can be sure of that," Ruocco said with a smile.

He's currently listed as questionable for this week's game against the Chapel Hill Heroes. More updates to follow.

2/17 - Pastore to Ruocco: "I quit"

Mere minutes ago, starting forward John Pastore contacted team captain Pete Ruocco and announced his intention to quit the team. Pastore's transcript read, "fuckin nice captions fagood, i quit the team." It is unknown what "fagood" refers to, but there's a pretty good chance it's a Sigur Ros song. In fact, I think they played it on Conan O'Brien last week.

Will Pastore rejoin the team? Who can say at this point?

2/18 - UB Learns Unveils New Logo

With Facebook groupies such as UB Freshman Greg Gamble, and UB Graduate (and former MAC Player Of The Year) Turner Battle, it is clear that UB Learns' popularity is soaring. Striking while the iron is hot, Guard Andrew Kaplan has crafted a logo for the team using his masterful Photoshop skills.

"Well, I was trying to highlight each player's talents and their contribution to the team. And I needed something to divert me from my studies," Kaplan remarked.

Either way, the logo has been a huge success, and fans everywhere are ordering merchandise featuring the new logo.